The experiential exercises were deeply moving to me because they forced me to honestly consider and give voice to my fears, my regrets and the kind of legacy I wish to leave. It was through these exercises that I came to admit to myself that I lacked integrity and I don’t say that to be dramatic or glib. The two days called for deep introspection and I was forced to face some hard truths – one of which was becoming painfully aware of the compromises I have made and how they link to the parallels between my fears and my regrets. As humbling as this admission was, I believe I found peace in revealing this difficult truth and understanding why and how I went wrong as well as what I needed to do to make things right.

I worry as I write this, that people may wonder, “What kind of a person says they lack integrity?” Well average – that’s how I would have described myself. I consider myself kind, respectful and good-hearted. The integrity gap, as Robin calls it, presents itself not in my actions but rather my inactions. I held back – for most of my adult life. Afraid to try my hardest in case I failed. After all, what do you do when your best isn’t good enough? Afraid to be myself in case people didn’t like me. I realize that if I failed, I was conveniently positioned to tell myself that I didn’t give it my all. If people didn’t like me, I would still be able to tell myself that they don’t know the “real me.” I did what was easy so I could get through each day and start again tomorrow. I compromised – a little bit, each day.

The Elite Performers' Series helped me find my own truth. I was afraid to go to sleep Friday night because I was worried that I would wake up Saturday morning and feel differently than I did during those two days. To strengthen my resolve, I did something difficult I’ve known I had to do for years – I had forgiveness to give and apologies to make. As we heard – the power is in the start. I made a commitment that I would work hard to sustain this feeling of power and possibility. Over the weekend, I re-thought my personal philosophy, my daily devotions and reinvented my daily rituals to include an hour at the beginning of each day. You see, I don’t want to feel any other way than I do today.

The two days taught me that elite leaders are people who are truly connected to their own feelings and others’. Elite leaders have taken the time to evaluate their lives and identify what is most important to them to live their best life. Elite leaders have the self-respect and self-love that is necessary to nurture the self-discipline they require to pursue that best life they have defined. Elite leaders are elite people.

Does it scare me that this may find its way on the World Wide Web? Oh yes – in a big way. But I made a promise to myself to speak my own truth so I chose to be honest. I promised I would act with courage and resolve and tonight I can sleep because I didn’t compromise. I don’t want to feel any other way than I do today.

Corrie Dunlop,

Eastern Regional Office